#122: Rough times

Unfortunately, we're in the middle of rough times. Most of it financial.

To make a long story short, thanks to rising costs and some money mismanagement from the the Head Honcho of the Family (more on this later), we're on a VERY tight budget. Earlier this week, our washing machine died on us. Since HHF fancies himself a handyman (and in an effort to save some $$$) he decided to try to fix the washer himself.

So this morning started with a lot of swearing and grunting as HHF dragged the washer outside to tinker with it...and I got to watch the kids like I've been doing all week. All for naught, for even HHF's superior (?) skills wasn't enough to fix said washer. So we're gonna have to do it all by hand. HHF doesn't want to go to a laundromat because we'd be there all day (and it costs $$$ of course). And we can't afford to get a new washer, so...

This is the same man who avoids all talk about our finances, even when I press for details. As a stay-at-home mom trying to do writing and editing on the side, on top of dealing with 2 special needs kids and expecting #3, I'm pretty much stuck. And he's somehow gotten it within his head that giving me an "allowance" of $40 every two weeks is enough to get by. Never mind that it's barely enough to cover groceries.

Earlier this year, he decided to go with a "debt consolidation agency" that turned out to be a fraud. They charged a "fee", but the collection calls and letters never stopped. Needless to say, I hit the roof when I found out about it (by finding paperwork on the kitchen table when I was doing housework). He'd never consulted me about it. One of my friends was flabbergasted...WTH was HHF thinking???

I am SICK and TIRED of dealing with this. I don't need this additional stress when I'm pregnant, but HHF is oblivious to anything that doesn't concern him directly. It's his way or the highway. And forget him helping in any other way...he's obsessed with a puzzle-solving site on the Internet. The only time he DOES help is when he's seeing me doing household jobs ALREADY, so he can claim he "helps".

I'm not usually this bitter or b!tchy. I've been accused to being "overly emotional" and "to get over it". But my life is a living hell right now, and it's hard to be optimistic when you're basically treated like a "slave-housewife".

This the the reality of being the wife of a man with extreme Aspberger's with an obsession of being right and being overly miserly. I know we need to save, cut back in these times, but STILL. I am a prisoner.

Annie